


have i ever told you that i love you?

by AngstBabyJae



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Bullying, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Speciesism, enjoy anyways!, i'm worried the ending is too similar to "forever and always" :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstBabyJae/pseuds/AngstBabyJae
Summary: “Not recently, no,” she replied, cheeks heating up, struggling to compose herself.“Well, I do. So much. Everyday. I just thought I should tell you that more,”---Catra and Adora are twelve-years-old. They don't know much about love, but they know one thing for certain...They definitely love each other.





	have i ever told you that i love you?

“Why are you staring at me like that, doofus?” Adora laughed, nudging her friend jokingly.

They are twelve years old. Or at least they think they are. They’ve never exactly asked Shadow Weaver when they were born. They don’t know if Shadow Weaver really knew.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?”

That took Adora by surprise. Their love was as obvious as the light of day. It was unspoken. It was a fact of life. Yet, when approached up front with the confession is made Adora’s heart light up with feelings that feel both new and strangely familiar at the same time.

“Not recently, no,” she replied, cheeks heating up, struggling to compose herself.

“Well, I do. So much. Everyday. I just thought I should tell you that more,”

Adora wasn’t used to Catra being so upfront with her emotions. Usually she buries them deep down inside her until they could burst out of her in private when she didn’t think Adora could see her. Adora’s blush deepened.

“W-well, I love you, too, Catra,”

“Aw, you’re stammering! Isn’t that just _adora_-ble!” she attempted to noogie her the way Adora would, but Adora easily evaded her grasp, tackling her with a giggle.

Catra hit the floor with an “oof,” Adora landing squarely on top of her. Catra smirked from under her.

“This is certainly the role reversal, I’m usually jumping on top of you,”

“And you nearly break my back every time,”

“I do not!”

They’re so close now.

So close…

“CATRA!”

The girls nearly leaped out of their skins as Shadow Weaver appeared seemingly out of nowhere before them. They scrambled up and into attention.

Catra gulped, “Yes, Shadow Weaver?”

“What exactly do you think you are doing?”

“N-Nothing! We were just play-” Shadow Weaver cut Adora off with a glare, “We were, um, just playing around, Shadow Weaver,”

“I was addressing Catra!” she snapped, “Now… consider it lucky that I am giving you a chance to explain yourself…” shadows formed around them, creeping towards the feline girl, who attempted a defiant stare, but it was in vain. She was obviously terrified.

“What did we do? What did we do wrong?”

“Don’t play naïve, girl! There must be a reason for me to find you two in such a… compromising position,”

“Compromising?” Catra whimpered, confused, mouth bone dry.

“Have you not learned it in class? Or did you skip that one too? Or have you already learned of the consequences, yet continue to defy me all the same? Believing you are above the rules as always… little uncontrollable animal that you are…”

“We didn’t do anything!”

“Is that so, Adora?”

“We don’t even understand what you’re talking about, we haven’t gotten any lesson!”

Shadow Weaver paused for a second before withdrawing the shadows, at which the two girls sighed in relief.

“You’re lucky that you are so promising, my child, or I would not take so much cheek,” she smiled chillingly at the girl before turning to Catra, “I wish I could say the same for you, Catra, but alas…”

_Liar, Liar, Liar!_

Her subconscious screamed, begging her to stand up for herself.

She valued her life more. Especially now that Adora got her to back off.

“I will be speaking with your instructor. You two are getting older. Such affection is… unbecoming of you. You will find out soon enough,” and with that she slunk away, back into the shadows from whence she came.

“That was pretty cool, Adora,” Catra mumbled, “How you, you know, stood up for me and all,”

“No problem. What are friends for?” she smiled, “I love you,” she said again, testing the phrase out of her mouth.

“I love you, too. What do you think Shadow Weaver meant?”

“Who knows? Like she said, we’ll find out eventually,”

“I hate when Shadow Weaver calls me an animal. I hate when she calls me a lot of things actually…”

“Forget her! Her opinion doesn’t matter. Now, come on, let’s get to the mess hall,” She reached her hand out for Catra to grab, then winced in pain when she did, her eyes watering on instinct, “Catra, claws!”

“Sorry!” she blushed and retracted them, adjusting her hand to hold her companion’s more gingerly.

“It’s alright, it was an accident. Let’s go,”

Catra wasn’t reassured. She thought to her uncommon features as she walked. She wanted to leap out her own skin most days. When Shadow Weaver wasn’t calling her a beast and mocking her the other children were, and Adora defending her has started to embarrass her more than comfort her now-a-days. She wanted to carve those undesirable parts for her sometimes when she stood shyly before mirrors. She just couldn’t stand it. Especially on physical exam day. She felt mortified as the doctor gasped upon noticing her tail. Stupid newbie. Last year’s doctor was much less of an idiot.

They walked on, hand in hand. She looked curiously at Adora’s blush, before realizing her tail had wrapped tight around her waist of its own accord. She hurriedly separated her tail, mumbling apologies.

“I think it’s cute,”

“Take that back!” she growled.

“You’re just one big cutie,”

“Adora,” she complained.

“Especially when you purr,”

“Sh-shut up! Tell anyone about that and you’re dead!”

“Like you could kill me,” Catra in turn gave her a glare that could chill ice, “Alright, alright, I won’t tell, geez!”

The glare melted into a pleased smile. She let the fingers of the hand intertwined with Adora’s brush over her knuckles.

“Ya’ know, you’re cute, too. That lil’ hair poof you wear and your pretty eyes…”

“You think my eyes are pretty?” Adora’s cheeks flushed once again.

“Well, duh, it’s one of the only colors I can see anyways,”

Adora rolled her eyes, “But they’re so dull! You’re eyes are…” she struggled to come up with a word fitting of them, “magnetizing,”

Catra couldn’t suppress a giggle, “’Magnetizing’, really?”

Her cheeks darkened another shade, “You know what I mean! They're… magnificent… beautiful would be an understatement,”

“You’re so cheesy,”

“They're two different colors, Catra! They glow in the dark! So much better than plain old boring blue,”

“It looks silver sometimes, when the light hits them just right, like the moon. Or maybe it’s a different color, what do I know? I’m colorblind,”

“I can look at your eyes for hours and never get tired. I’m sure you’d get bored after a while looking at mine…” 

“I never do. Not in a million years,” she nuzzled in closer to settling her head on the slightly taller girl’s soldier as they walked. Of course neither pre-teen knew that this wasn’t the sort of thing to admit to your totally platonic best friend. Or the way one should walk, fingers laced tight, cuddling in close, barely paying attention to where they walked. Catra couldn’t help a laugh as Adora almost walked them into a wall as they approached the cafeteria. They were nearly five minutes late to lunch, which they knew would cost them the good slop and non-stale ration bars. They silently agreed it was worth it.

They settled into their usual spot at the emptier of the tables, near their squad.

“Adora!” Lonnie called, “Over here!” she waved her towards the table with some of their squad mates: Lonnie's mute best friend Rogelio, his incompetent crush Kyle, and a handful of other cadets.

Adora smiled, “Come on, Catra,”

Catra reluctantly followed. As they approached the table Lonnie made a face.

“I don’t remember inviting _her_. Animals eat on the floor,” she slapped the tray from Catra's hand and watched it crash to the floor. Shadow Weaver will undoubtedly have her clean it up. 

Catra winced, her face quickly flashing from hurt to pure anger to a façade of cool indifference.

“And I don’t remember wanting to sit with your losing ass anyways,”

“Oh, please. You only beat me because you were cheating,”

“Looks like you’re just a sore loser. You lost because you’re too fat. Lay off the ration bars a bit, will you? You’re slowing us down!” seeing as Catra was deeply insecure about her own body this was quite hypocritical. She didn’t care. It felt good to knock Lonnie down a peg.

Adora gasped, “Catra!”

“What? It’s true,”

She obviously struck a nerve with Lonnie, who slammed her (in Catra’s opinion) pudgy wrists on the table before standing to face the magicat, “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that!”

And she did.

Not then of course, for Adora was dragging away her from the table and scolding her for harsh words, but splitting her tray with her anyways. It made her even angrier. It put a damper on their mood for the rest of the meal.

When Adora offered Catra her usual place in her bed that night she didn’t take it.

Big mistake.

“Hold her tight, I don’t want her getting away,” a familiar voice whispered. She was so tired that she didn’t immediately notice the new weight on her wrists or that she was no longer in her bed, but on the floor beside it.

But Catra was always a light sleeper.

She jackknifed into the air, kicking and punching wildly, attempting to fend off her attackers. She tried to yell for Adora, who slept peacefully in view, but a sweaty, calloused hand was secured tightly to her mouth. 

She licked it, but the hand remained, with only an outcry of “gross!” and a remark about how she might be feral.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she was dragged away by Lonnie and the bigger kids and out into the hallway.

They beat her until she was bloody, a black eye swelling up. They tied her hands. They pulled her tail.

Then Adora came. She must have noticed the lack of her bunk mate’s familiar snores.

They scattered after that, fearing Shadow Weaver’s wrath were they to be reported, but Catra knew that Shadow Weaver wouldn’t care. She would join in if she could.

Adora offered to take her to the infirmary, but Catra would rather bleed out. Adora suggested going back to sleep, but going back in there was the last thing she wanted to do, so she just clung to Adora in the hallway, letting her hold her for dear life as they slid to the floor together. She sat there for a long time. Alone together in the dead of night. They didn’t care if Shadow Weaver found them there. Their world only included each other’s embrace. 

Silent tears fell from Catra’s eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to dry them. She eventually let out a sob and gave in to her weakness, face buried in Adora’s chest. They had become more cushioned recently, which Catra didn’t mind. She really didn’t mind later on in their life. But for now it just made a good pillow to cry on.

When Catra felt a bit better they snuck their way back inside. Lonnie was sound asleep. Anger bubbled inside of Catra as she broke free of Adora and was heading towards Lonnie’s bed before she could stop her. It was the bunk right new to theirs. Lonnie slept on top. Catra knew something that not everybody did. Lonnie was afraid of heights.

She carefully maneuvered her claw into the screws holding the ladder in place and carefully removed it before carrying it outside and locking it in a storage closet. Adora waited patiently for her.

“What? Are you gonna scold me again?”

“No. She deserves worse,”

Catra smirked, “Wowie, supporting rule breaking now? What a rebel,”

“I can always kick her ass extra hard in practice tomorrow,”

“Did I hear that correctly? Did perfect little Adora just curse?”

“You bet your ass I did,”

“That’s my girl!” she giggled, before covering her mouth as Lonnie shifted in her sleep. She giggled quieter, making a shushing motion to Adora, who rolled her eyes and smiled.

They settled into Adora’s bunk, cuddling close. A soft purr erupted from deep within Catra without permission. She blushed as Adora’s fingers came to caress her face and scratch behind her ears. Catra stared into those ocean eyes, so full of color in her dull world and sighed contently. 

An overwhelming urge came over her. An itch she couldn’t help but scratch. Before she knew what she was doing she was rapidly planted pecks all over Adora’s beautiful face.

Adora giggled, “That tickles!”

Catra hummed and pelted those kisses harder. Then she stopped, lips frozen in place over Adora’s own. It was an accident, but it was the best damn accident in Catra’s entire life. They stared into each other’s eyes then watched both of them close as they pressed their lips harder together before reluctantly pulling away. They didn’t know what this was, but it felt so right.

_Oh._ Maybe this was what Shadow Weaver meant? To be close. Closer than friends usually were. But was intimacy really all that bad? How could something this good ever be something forbidden? Then again, the Horde forbade a lot of things that were good. So they thought nothing more of it.

When their lips collided again it was sloppy, slightly open-mouthed. Teeth clanking uncomfortably, but soon they got the rhythm. Adora pulled Catra on top of her and they kissed once more, this time Adora’s tongue clumsily slipped past those sharp teeth and they tasted blood. Catra tried to pull away, but Adora pushed them together once more, not caring. They found a way to join tongues without Catra grazing the other girl. When they finally came up for air, Catra thunked her head back down onto Adora’s chest, breathing heavily.

“What was that?” she whispered.

“I don’t know,”

“Wanna do it again?”

“Yes, please,”

They made out a little bit longer, but soon exhaustion overcame them both, Catra setting in next to her in the bed instead of at her feet.

They fell asleep like that. Arms wrapped around each other, bundled in each other’s love.

Before Catra slept there was a final whisper in the dark.

“I love you, Adora,”

Adora was already asleep.

She didn’t need to respond for Catra to know she loved her too.

Or at least she thought she did…


End file.
